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Saturday, 8 January 2011

Dairy Products

My first story is one many know me for. When I was coming up to puberty I was hit by a medical condition. It was not life threatening, but a little embarrassing. Basically, my foreskin was too-tight, so when I went to go pee, it would fill up the bell end as the hole was not big enough to let the wee out as it should. You had to squeeze it to empty it. The answer was simple – circumcision. No biggie, but more than a little embarrassing when your mates ask why you have to go into hospital...

Just before going into the opp we had a little panic in the house. I had to bring a water sample, but we could not find any suitable container.

Until my mum found a milk bottle.

Being in a panic, and more than a little naive and immature I did the thing I thought would cause the least mess...I stuck my penis in the bottle to pee.

Those with a little forethought may see where this is going.

With my penis in the bottle, the bell-end ballooned up due to the condition. And remember, I have to squeeze the head to get the liquid out...otherwise have to wet till it drips out
SOOO there I of the stairs, pants around knees, with the bottle swinging between my legs, screaming “MUUUUM”

Needless to say, I had to wait a bit to get it breaking of bottles
I can never look at a gold-top milk bottle in the same light again...

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