Skating on thin ice

We all want to be 'cool' somehow...I am sure we all at some point want to be like the Fonz. To be able to do things and say things that are just SO Hollywood, that come straight off the silver screen.

Trust me...don't EVER give into those urges

The real world just hates it when people try and act 'cool' and the reaction is NEVER what you want

The one time I tried to be 'cool' was on an ice rink in Scotland. I was on holiday with parents in Aviemore in the Cairngorms and I took my leave of them to basically do my own thing

I found this run down ice rink and though...why not

This was the summer Dannii Minogue came to prominence to the extent that I had bought a full size scantly clad door poster of her just the day before...I always though her more attractive than her sister

And...as would become significant later, it was also the summer when Def Leppard and Lets Get Rocked was doing the rounds.

I used to skate ok – nothing fancy – enough to get round – a little wobbly – but not too unbalanced.

I was skating around and watching the people doing likewise and those on the sidelines watching us

Then I saw her, leaning on the wall around the rink.

She was just my type – curvy in the right places, dark hair...in fact more than a passing resembalnce to Dannii Minogue at the time...and she was watching me!!! She was watching me and smiling!!

SCORE!!

I went around the rink a little more, circling by, glancing in her direction now and again...she was DEFINITELY watching me!!

The clincher came a few seconds later.....Lets Get Rocked came on the rinks speaker system which had been playing jukebox music all this time

I LOVE the track...well I do a sort of skating dance to it, singing along...and the lass laps it up...smiling but not in a condescending way – laughing when I did intentionally silly things

I WAS IN HERE!!

NOW was the time I was gripped with the desire to do something cool...something that would make an impression.

One important side note...she was smoking...not a big turn on for me but she was VERY hot

ANYWAY...here it goes....as Lets Get Rocked came to an end, I skated right up to her

Took the cigarette out of her mouth

Chucked it to the ice

And then gave her a deep long kiss.....it was a good kiss – no tongues but full of passion

I broke the kiss holding her chin smiled and said

“Now isn't that better than smoking?”

NOW in the Hollywood version, the woman would smile, possibly laugh, maybe even grab the man for a deeper kiss

This wasn't Hollywood

This was Aviemore and a crappy old ice rink north of the border

She grabbed me by the front of my shirt, bunched it up in her fist and pushed me back onto the ice with an angry growl

I fell flat on my bum and slid the whole width of the rink to the other wall

Meanwhile, she tottered out onto the rink, picked up her cigarette, checked it was still lit, and stuck it back in her mouth

She also started swearing at me

That was the ONE AND ONLY moment I tried to be cool